One Day, the kid is going to hate me for posting this...

Shelly went to a dinner seminar with her Dad tonight, so I was left in charge of the boys. I did some quick maneuvering, and dropped Jonathan off with her Mom, and I brought Matthew home. The thought being that when the seminar was over, Shelly would be going back to her parents house to get her truck anyway, so Jonathan might as well hand out there with Nana to wait for her. I also have trouble multi-tasking to attend to the needs of a 4 month old and a 4 yr old at the same time, especially the dinner, bath, and bedtime routine for both at once.

Anyway, after dinner, I helped Matthew with his homework. He had to trace a page of capital and lower-case "S" and trace 2 sets of the numbers 6-10. While he was working on his homework, he was recounting the day to me. He told me that at school today, he "took a dump". I said "You did what?" He repeated, "I took a dump, I tee-tee'd and poo-poo'd in the bathroom." Ok, the kid is potty trained and has been for over a year, it's just funny to hear him say he "took a dump." I had to tell him that although Daddy has joked about that, it's best that we not say that anymore. I can only imagine that the teacher will have a double length conference scheduled for us when we get to parent teacher conferences.

If that wasn't bad enough, he is a little boy and has noticed his little boy part... Bath time was one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed, and I'm trying to figure out how best to direct future similar situations...

When he got in the tub, the boy had serious wood going on. He pointed it out to me "My naked is big, Daddy" (he refers to it as his naked).. I said "Yeah, sometimes that happens", praying he wouldn't press with wanting to know "why" it happens. That's another conversations for another day, hopefully a long way off. Bath time continues, he turns his attention to his boats, and things return to normal.

Normal until bath time is over. I start draining the water, turn around to get his towel, and turn back around to see him pulling straight out on the end of his little tally whacker, like he's trying to stretch it. I said "What are you doing?" to which he replied "I'm trying to make it bigger." Oh, boy. How do you address this? I told him that you can't make it bigger, that's not how it works, now get out of the tub. Then, the kid pulls it up one more time, leans over as far as he can and blows at it. Thankfully he can't reach, or we'd have an entirely new problem. I said "C'mon, man, stop that. What are you doing?" He said, "Trying to blow it up, like a balloon ." Ok, I've decided, Shelly is in charge of bath time from now on... I told him "It doesn't work that way, and besides, it's not nice to play with your naked, now get out of the tub."

Now, clearly stalling, not wanting to get out of the tub yet, he rolled onto his side and said "I can't get out, it's drinking the water." As patiently as I could, I told him that it doesn't drink, that's not what it does. He argued that it does indeed drink and he couldn't get out until it drank ALL of the water in the tub.

Luckily the kid has a short attention span. I changed the subject and reminded him that he needed to get out of the tub right now so I could tell him the story of the 3 little piggies and the big, bad, wolf. That did the trick, and nothing more on that subject was mentioned again.

Geez, what a night. I basically ignored and re-directed my way through the events of the evening. The question is, is this a phase all little boys go through in discovering themselves?