Thursday, February 25, 2010

A lump in my throat and a tear in my eye...

Most of the folks that read this blog are friends of mine. Maybe we grew up together, maybe we go to church together, or maybe you are related to me. I'm not generally a guy that has an easy time showing emotions. I haven't always been that way, but these days emotions are not always easy for me. I think this blog is probably a good way for me to actually convey feelings. Writing isn't something I do often, but when I take the time, it comes fairly easily - most of the time.

So, what happened tonight to stir me to write?

This was like almost any other night. I met Shelly and the kids in town after work to run a few errands and have dinner. We were sitting in a booth in Chili's next to a window overlooking a parking lot. This was the community college parking lot at I-10 and the Beltway, so it is sort of a major crossroads in town.

While we were eating, I noticed a lady pull up next to the curb and get out of her car, just outside the window from us. Parked a little farther down the curb was a man in a car with 2 young boys, not much older than my 2 sons. The man and boys got out of the car, and the man hugged the boys. The lady stayed by her car and called the boys to her. The boys trudged to the car, and after what appeared to be a little bit of bickering, they got in the car. I looked and noticed neither parent was wearing a ring on their left hand.

We had just witnessed "the hand-off." It struck me how sad each one of these 4 people looked. Sure, they were normal, well-dressed people, but they just looked sad.

A couple of weeks ago, Shelly and I went through a marriage conference, and of course, you hear the statistic that 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.

Here is where this story turns even more personal for me.

The statistics are even more dismal for a 2nd marriage.

My friends that I grew up with know that Shelly is not my first wife. Many of my Houston friends will probably be shocked by this. I know, it's just not something that I talk about very often. The reasons for the first split aren't really important. Nothing earth-shattering like a Tiger Woods story, just 2 people that jumped into something that everyone around them said should have a little more thought put into it. Lessons learned, and 2nd chances provided by God's grace and goodness.

When I married Shelly, I committed that things would be different this time. Next month we'll celebrate 9 years of honoring that commitment. I'm VERY happy about that.

So, what about that scene unfolding outside the restaurant? Why did it move me so much? I'll tell you, it was just a reminder of the consequences of a Mom and Dad that don't stick it out for the long-haul. Sure, the parent's will get over it (maybe), but those 2 little boys broke my heart. Shelly and I are a normal married couple. The stresses of life sometimes put a strain on things. Most days are great, and some days are tough. Seeing those 2 sad looking little boys just served as a reminder that NOTHING that we go through is worth breaking the hearts of MY two little boys.

Right there over my smoked chicken tacos, I told God that I was going to double-down and make sure I was the best husband and father to my family that I can be.

Sorry that this is sort of a rambling post, it is just what was on my heart and mind, and I wanted to put my thoughts "on paper".

Any of the readers have any other thoughts to share? Feel free.

5 comments:

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

Great post.

MELackey said...

this is just a note for anyone that reads this post that is one of those parents who, through whatever circumstances, have to make that hand-off regularly...

Sometimes it is inevitable, and your individual situation dictated that splitting was the best choice for you and your kids. I'm not judging you. It's not my business.

The point of this post was purely personal to me and my family. It is a record of my thoughts and a reminder to myself to be the best husband and father I can be to my wife and kids.

Unknown said...

From where I can see you are a great daddy and husband!

the p's said...

love this. thanks for sharing!

Ty Camp said...

I love seeing how God speaks into your life and really love seeing how you respond. Great post.