Awwww nuts...

It has been a while since the last post. Not much major going on, just being lazy.

So, what prompted me to post now? Well, something pretty funny happened yesterday that I thought was blog worthy.

So, on Wednesday Matthew complained that his "naked" hurt. That's what he calls his junk.. Thinking it was just some sort of surface irritation, I got out the Neosporin, put some on his finger and told him to rub that on where it hurt. He got dressed and I dropped him off at school like usual.

Wednesday evening, I picked him up from after school care and noticed he was walking a little funny. I asked him what was going on and he told me his "naked" still hurt. I figured another round of ointment that evening would take care of things and thought nothing of it.

After dinner, I put the boys in the bath tub and noticed that Matthew's sack was quite red. My first thought was that maybe he got his underwear wet at some point while going to the bathroom and had just managed to rub it raw. But upon closer inspection (and believe me, as a straight man, even inspecting my own kids junk is sort of uncomfortable), I noticed it was pretty swollen on one side. Then I checked and the right nut was more than double the size of the left.

Houston, we have a problem....

So, I had Shelly finish the bath while I called my father-in-law. He's a veterinarian, but still gives pretty good human medical advice. He suggested a visit to the doctor Thursday morning would be in order.

SO, Shelly took him to the doc, got an ultrasound ($455 out of pocket), and was declared to have an infection that should clear up with some antibiotics. All good right? They then came and met me for lunch at Willie's Ice House, where Shelly showed me the picture. Couldn't tell much other than a color ultrasound picture that listed right and left testis.

Fast forward to last night (Thursday night). Shelly called me after work and told me that she thought we left the picture on the table at Willie's. Crap. A picture of balls left at the restaurant. And she wanted me to call and see if the picture was still there and go get it.

So, I called the restaurant. When the girl answered the phone, I told her that I was in there eating lunch with my family and we left an ultrasound picture on the table. I expected that she would have to put me on hold and ask around. She didn't have to. With almost a laugh in her voice, she said yes, they had the picture. And then she transferred me to the manager.

OK, think about what this means for a minute....

The hostess knew about the picture being found 6 hours earlier, likely before her shift started...

Likely everyone on the WHOLE staff had passed around the picture of some poor dude's balls. And I was a guy calling about it. And then I was going to be the guy coming in to pick it up...

THIS WHOLE JOINT IS GOING TO THINK I'M THE GUY WHOSE JEWELS THEY LOOKED AT!!!!

Even worse, this is a restaurant in my regular rotation.

Needless to say, I went and picked it up, everyone around within earshot when I asked for the picture seemed to be sort of snickering.

I think it will be a while before I go back there again...