Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What a morning ...

About mid-morning this morning, I sent Shelly an e-mail telling her how the day was going so far. She thought it was pretty funny, and worthy of sharing.

Just as I was about to go downstairs to leave this morning, Shelly called to remind me to take the leftover tamales with me for lunch. Thanks for the reminder. Those babies were good, so having them for lunch was a great idea. Besides, moving isn't cheap, so saving the cost of lunch is good.

A co-worker is having a baby tomorrow and she needed to borrow a carseat from us, so I had gone into the attic to get the carrier. The base to it was in the storage building, so I had to remember to grab it on the way out of the house. Here's how it went...

go downstairs and let the dog back inside...
think about tamales, gotta remember to grab them...
go out to shed and get carseat base...
stop at my counter in the kitchen to get keys, wallet, phone, etc...
remember I still need to grab the tamales...
put everything down to feed the dog before leaving...
pick up everything and head into the garage...
grab carseat with my already full hands...
open trunk of car to deposit carseat...
(Altima has that funny keyless key deal, so you just open the trunk)
trunk full of dry cleaning picked up last night, close trunk...
put everything down to unlock doors to open back door to put carseat in backseat...
notice trashcans out by street from yesterday...
pick up trashcans so HOA doesn't send me yet another nasty-gram about them...


Damn, leaving the house is a chore some days...

head out, traffic really backed up, so I take alternate route...
crap, wreck on alternate route, really backed up, stuck like Chuck for a while...
finally make it through the accident scene. Dang, car pieces and parts scattered all over creation...
finally get going, log truck exits freeway, cuts across 3 lanes of feeder, straight into my lane...
take evasive action (slam on brakes, hold on, shit pants - not really, but did fart a time or 2 on the way to work)
catch up to truck, roll down window, and give him the finger...
he honks and swerves at me again... I better quit while I'm ahead...
smooth sailing the rest of the way...

Get to work ...
Forgot tamales. Crap.

5 comments:

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

My little Yankee raised friend on St Croix had no idea until I explained Cooter Brown them.

MELackey said...

I saw that last week and cracked up. You sure are giving those guys an interesting education.

Michael said...

Yeah, Wreg is learnin' us some good southern expressions, but we're no strangers to colorful colloquialisms! We've grown fond of "Shit Fire and Mango Butter" (cruzanized) and "Ned's Ass" is a new favorite.

MELackey said...

I've seen you guys mention Ned's Ass. I guess I'll have to rtead back through your blog to find it.

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

I think maybe Ned's ass is a Charlotte regional saying. I never heard it until I moved from Durham.

Cooter though is legendary.