Looks like Shelly is still stuck with me...

Yesterday, I came across the following article (linked from Yahoo):

Jennifer Anniston Reveals her Relationship Deal Breaker

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- When Jennifer Aniston thinks about relationship no-nos, one thing comes to mind: back hair.

"I got to say, that's a deal breaker," the "He's Just Not That Into You" star told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush at a junket for the film, due in theaters next Friday.

But only if there's a lot -- less, she can handle.

"The occasional rogue hair, I can easily help that one out," she said.

But some of her co-stars have different priorities.

"I want to be able to trust the person, that's my biggest [thing]," said co-star Ginnifer Goodwin .

"Do you trust a man with a hairy back?" Jennifer replied.

On a more serious note, Jennifer admitted what she really wants in a man is humor.

"Oh God, can you have a funny guy you are not attracted to?" she said. "Basically, it's chemistry, chemistry, chemistry."


I sent a link to the article and told Shelly that she was stuck with me for now since it looks like my secret plan to run off with Jennifer Anniston was just shot down.

Of course, her reply was that she wished she had read that article several years ago, so she would have know that my back hair was an indicator that I couldn't be trusted. Touche'

For those that don't know me, I'm a little hairy. While we were on our honeymoon, Shelly thought it would fun to use one of those chemical hair removers on my back. Blinded by love (and the promise of a little action), I agreed. Big mistake. I knew it was a bad idea, but the other brain over-ruled me and thought it best to go along with her.

I stood in the shower and let her slather that stuff all over my back. HOLY CRAP!!!! That stuff lit me on fire. I don't know how to describe the burn other than it hurt like hell. I about killed myself getting the cold water turned on. I don't know what is in that stuff, but it is virtually unaffected by icy cold shower water.

After a while, the burning finally stopped. MOST of the back hair was gone. I think it was literally burned off, along with the top 2 layers of skin. There were a few patches of hair left, but at that point, they were just going to have to stay there.

And to think women regularly used that stuff on the bikini area. Well, I guess that's how women are able to endure the pain of childbirth. They have killed all the pain receptors in that area with this stuff.

Well, now you know why I'm still hairy and completely satisfied with it.

Any other guys allow their wives to remove their back hair?

Funny joke...

This arrived in my e-mail right as I was about to shut down and head home this evening. Luckily no one else was left in the office at that time. I laughed so hard I started choking.

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport .

The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'.

He forgets to switch off the intercom.

Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa ?'

'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge boobs out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.'

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is that the pilot's talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. You heard what he said. He's gotta land the plane and take a crap first.'

It's official, I'm a junkie...

Ok, I'll admit I'm not what you would call an early adopter. I still have old style tube TV's. Not even a flat front tube TV. My cell phone is pretty basic. No smart phones for me. Hell, we don't even have a DVR or Tivo.

A year ago, I refused to even consider getting on Facebook because that was noting but a bunch of stupid kids, no place for a responsible adult to spend any time. At Christmas, I told my sister I didn't have a need for an iPod. The radio in the car was just fine.

Well, here I sit, blogging on the computer with the iPod touch laying next to me tuned into Facebook Mobile. It's official. I'm a junkie.

Of course, I'm still not up to current times, and I'm still cheap. If I wasn't so cheap, I would have picked up an iPhone, but I can't justify the cost of the data plan. I also bought the iPod used off ebay for quite a bit less than the cost of a new one. So, I get to hold onto my reputation as being sort of cheap, but I get to have a new toy also.

Now, I just need to figure out how to get some music on it for free. I did buy Bob Will's San Antonio Rose, and a few songs stored on the computer transferred, I just need more. I also found several cool "free" apps for it. I also discovered the the iFart was not as funny as believed, so it has already been removed. The blackjack game is pretty fun. I'll put more stuff on it as I have time, but so far, I think this it a pretty neat little deal.

Learning about politics...

Over the last 5 or 6 weeks, Matthew has received a crash course in politics. It started one night when Barack Obama showed up on our doorstep in a driving snowstorm. Ok, it wasn't a driving snowstorm, that was toilet paper hanging from the trees. We brought that idiot in from the cold and let him attend all of our holiday functions with us. We even took him to the ranch with us.

While he was a guest in our home, Matthew commented on him. He learned to pronounce "Obama", because that's what we called him. Well, that's what we called him in front of Matthew. In adult company he had several other names.

Shortly after New Years, we sent him to an undisclosed location to spend time with another family. Matthew saw him on TV occasionally, and always got really excited "That's Obama, he's the guy that was at our house!!!"

Fast forward to last night. I was giving Matthew a bath. When I had soaped up the wash cloth, I told him to stand up. When he stood up, I kid you not, he popped off with the following: "Ladies & Gentlemen, the President of the Universe, Barack Obama!!!!"

I bathed the inside of his mouth first.

Several of the teachers at his daycare are minorities. Apparently, they watched the big event on the TV the other day. I guess that's fine, I just have to make sure we make like Fox News and present things to him in a "Fair & Balanced" manner

MLK Day...

the following is an article copied from the Houston Chronicle:

Houston's rival MLK parades still marching separately

Bickering aside, organizers of Houston’s two dueling Martin Luther King Jr. Day parades expect larger-than-usual turnouts of revelers wanting to celebrate on the eve of the inauguration of the nation’s first black president.
The MLK Parade Foundation will host the lone downtown event at 10 a.m. Monday, while the rival Black Heritage Society will march at noon on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard.

Ovide Duncantell, founder of the Black Heritage Society, said he moved his parade to the south Houston neighborhood after he lost out on the sole permit for the downtown parade. He vowed to be first in line for the downtown parade in 2010.

Despite the historic nature of this year’s event, organizers of Houston’s rival MLK parades said they don’t feel compelled to unify.

MLK Jr. Boulevard should be a perfect backdrop, Duncantell said, for his parade, themed “I Have a Dream; I am the Dream,” referring to King’s vision and Barack Obama’s election.

“We’re combining our celebration with the inauguration,” the 72-year-old said. “The little people won’t be able to go to Washington. They’re going to dovetail into anything they believe has connectivity between Dr. King and what we consider a product of Dr. King’s dream”

The 31-year-old parade was originally held on the street named after the slain civil rights leader before being moved downtown several years later at the request of patrons, he said.

Organizers, still scrambling to solidify the details of their parade, said they’re making the best of returning the grass-roots event to the community.

“We’re going to enjoy it,” Duncantell said. “We’re not complaining. One thing about us, We’re soldiers.”
Duncantell’s Black Heritage Society has been in a tug of war with the MLK Parade Foundation over hosting the main downtown parade for years.

Coin flip

The City Council intervened a few years ago by revising Houston’s parade ordinance to allow a single downtown parade per day. Three others are allowed throughout the city. It was a coin flip that allowed Duncantell’s group the covered downtown permit last year.

Susan Christian, deputy director of the mayor’s office of special events, said she hopes the two events have strong turnouts.

“I’m always very hopeful that both entities will have great success in the places that they’re producing their parades this year,” she said. “It’s a time of unity.”

But allowing more than one parade in downtown is out of the question, she said.

“We have to manage traffic and we have to be very conscious,” Christian said. “We want to be a good neighbor.”

High expectations

Charles Stamps, chairman of the MLK Parade Foundation, said he expects record turnout at his event, which is expected to include 15 floats, 37 marching bands and about 36,000 participants. The theme is “The Color of Unity.”

Obama’s inauguration signifies the culmination of part of King’s dream, as well as the vision of other civil rights leaders, he said.

“It’s an exciting time for the entire nation. I’m personally on cloud nine,” he said. “The timing is perfect — Dr. King’s birthday, the vision he had and the inauguration of the nation’s first black president.”


Funny, that when you look at the websites of the 2 groups mentioned, they say that their purpose is to promote racial harmony. I guess harmony amongst themselves doesn't count...

Black Heritage Society Parade (link)

MLK Parade Foundation (link)

Well, either way, I hope those folks have a good time with their parades. I'll be at work.

Headline of the day...

I was just perusing the daily headlines, and a story about a loose monkey caught my eye...


Feces-throwing monkey on the loose in Tampa Bay

Jan 14 04:57 PM US/Eastern
CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

Gary Morse with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says the adult male is thought to have escaped from an unlicensed source. It was last seen in Clearwater.

The monkey is not considered dangerous.


Well, if the monkey flings poo when he is mad, I'd say that if you encounter him, whatever you do, don't piss him off...

New Christmas present...

For Christmas every year, I usually end up with a few nice presents, and a couple hundred dollars. For the life of me, I always seem to have trouble figuring out what I want to spend the money on. I usually hang onto the money for a couple of months before I figure out what I'm willing to spend it on.

A few years ago, I bought my Weber Performer grill. I believe I bought it in March. Last year, I think it was March or April when I decided that I had been drooling over a Stihl weed-eater for a while, and I had enough to buy it, so I picked it up. I wish I had bought a Stihl years ago.

This year was different. I went into Christmas with an idea of several items I wanted. I've been watching cooking shows, and it seems that I keep seeing chef's make something in a big dutch oven. I decided that I needed to have an enamel covered dutch oven. I picked up a 6 quart oven last week and broke it in over the weekend. I was craving short ribs, and after looking for a while for a good recipe, I took parts of several recipes, and made my own. We're having it for dinner tomorrow night, but I sampled tonight. Oh, man, it was good.

Since I posted on Facebook earlier today, I've been asked for the recipe. Here it is:

8 beef short ribs (bone-in)
salt & pepper
olive oil (I use a good extra-virgin oil, but honestly, vegetable oil would work fine also)
1 large sweet onion, chopped
a couple cloves of garlic, chopped
2 cups of dry red wine (I used a Cabernet)
1 can beef broth
2 cans diced tomatoes
sliced mushrooms (I used about 2/3 of a 16 oz package of fresh mushrooms)

Trim the excess fat from the ribs. Don't cut all the fat off, just the excess.
Season the ribs with salt and pepper on all sides (liberally).
Heat some oil in the bottom of the dutch oven over medium high (any pot will work)
Brown the ribs on all sides (I did 4 at a time) and put aside.
Saute the onions in the olive oil. When they are about ready, add the garlic and saute another minute or so. Season with a little more salt & pepper while sauteing.
Add the wine, beef broth, and tomatoes, bring to a boil, and let it go for 10 minutes or so to reduce a little, stirring occasionally.

Add the ribs back and add the mushrooms, making sure that the meat is covered. Add some water, wine, or beef broth if you need to.

Put the lid on and put it in the over for 2 or 3 hours or so at 300. Maybe longer at 200 or 250 if you want to would be good also.

The sample of mine was good enough, I'd consider this recipe worth of serving to company.

Tomorrow evening, I'm going to serve the ribs with some mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts. I've never cooked the sprouts before, so this will be new. I'm going to cube up some venison smoke sausage and dice some onions. After browning the sausage and onions, I'll cut the sprouts in half and saute them in the pan with the sausage drippings, sausage, onions, garlic, salt, & pepper. Hopefully they are good. If not, it will be back to the drawing board. Hey, cooking is all about trial & error. Find what works and enjoy it.

Random observations...



This is the time of year that it seems everyone has some sort of little illness or bug. Our entire household seems to have had some sort of crud for the last month. During all of this, I have noticed some major differences between men, women, and children.


Everyone knows that the standard indicator for illness is when you are running a temperature. I recent had some upper respiratory issues, and ran a pretty high fever. It got up to about 99.8. I'm telling you, I was at death's door. It was bad enough that I had to go to the doctor twice about 2 weeks apart for 2 shots and 2 prescriptions

A couple of days later, Shelly came down with something. She had more symptoms such as runny nose, but had just a low grade fever of 102 or so. Not really even enough to go to the doctor to get medicated.

On New Year's day, we noticed that Matthew was feeling a little warm. The kid acted like he was feeling fine. No cough, no runny nose, and no complaints. The kid was running over 102 fever. We gave him Tylenol and checked it later. It was down close to normal, and he was still acting like he was fine, so we went ahead with our plans to visit my parents. After we got home that night, he was running higher fever again.

As a precaution, Shelly took him to the doctor the next day. Would you believe that the test revealed that he had the flu? Amazing since none of us has ever had it, and we all had our flu shots. We all received prescriptions for Tamiflu. Matthew was the only one we got filled. At $50-$60 per script, Shelly and I chose not to bother getting them filled unless we starting showing symptoms.

Matthew HATED the Tamiflu. I guess it was bitter tasting. It was a fight to get the kid to take 3/4 teaspoon twice a day. You can force a baby to take medicine, but a 4.5 yr old is a different thing altogether. Threats, bribes, whatever. The kid had a million reasons why he didn't need to take the medicine. The best one was when he complained that it smelled like hineys.

I smelled the medicine. I don't believe it smalled as bad as a hiney...

Suicide Bombers and the 72 Virgin Reward...


I'm not Muslim. I don't plan to convert to Islam. Just for my own personal wisdom, I should probably study a little about it, but if I don't find or make the time to properly read and study my own religion, I'm sure not going to become well versed in the Koran.


How did we get on this subject anyway? Well, it was a topic of discussion amongst a couple of friends tonight at a little get together. One of my friends happens to work with my bro-in-law, James (Sister's husband). Apparently James was on vacation earlier in the week, and they took the family for a little ride down to Galveston to see what is left of the island. While they were down there, they took the ferry across the bay to the Bolivar Peninsula.


At some point, they were stopped by Homeland Security folks and had to have the vehicle searched. I guess they are on high alert for Jihadists. I guess they have to be careful not to be accused of racial profiling, so they have to stop a unlikely looking group every now and then. Seriously, see the pic below. Not your typical terrorists...
















Ok, to be fair, you could probably call at least 2, no make that all 3 of the kids "terrors", but not really terrorists (although Allison will need to be watched closely as she gets older...). Probably put them on the "do not fly" list also, but that's mainly for the sanity of the other passengers...

Anyway, we were talking a little tonight about the supposed rewards for suicide bombers, and in typical guy fashion, the only reward that was discussed was the 72 virgins. Being guys, we're thinking that there are quite a few questions to be answered before strapping on the dynamite...

Do you get to pick your own virgins? Eternity is too long to be stuck with an ugly woman, virgin or not...

72 sounds like quite a few, but we're talking for all of eternity here. Is 72 really enough?

Is it the same 72 for all of eternity, or do you get to rotate a few of them out from time to time to bring a fresh batch in?

Honestly, there are other concerns that "arise" from such a situation... Is there a ready supply of little blue pills? I mean, that's not a problem very often, but as the country song goes "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was..."

Of course, when they do blow themselves up, wouldn't it be great if they received their 72 virgins in the form 90 yr old Nuns? Hey, that's what they get for not specifying the ages of their virgins...

Yes, for the record, our wives think we are nuts...