Friday, January 30, 2009

Looks like Shelly is still stuck with me...

Yesterday, I came across the following article (linked from Yahoo):

Jennifer Anniston Reveals her Relationship Deal Breaker

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- When Jennifer Aniston thinks about relationship no-nos, one thing comes to mind: back hair.

"I got to say, that's a deal breaker," the "He's Just Not That Into You" star told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush at a junket for the film, due in theaters next Friday.

But only if there's a lot -- less, she can handle.


"The occasional rogue hair, I can easily help that one out," she said.

But some of her co-stars have different priorities.

"I want to be able to trust the person, that's my biggest [thing]," said co-star Ginnifer Goodwin .

"Do you trust a man with a hairy back?" Jennifer replied.

On a more serious note, Jennifer admitted what she really wants in a man is humor.

"Oh God, can you have a funny guy you are not attracted to?" she said. "Basically, it's chemistry, chemistry, chemistry."


I sent a link to the article and told Shelly that she was stuck with me for now since it looks like my secret plan to run off with Jennifer Anniston was just shot down.

Of course, her reply was that she wished she had read that article several years ago, so she would have know that my back hair was an indicator that I couldn't be trusted. Touche'

For those that don't know me, I'm a little hairy. While we were on our honeymoon, Shelly thought it would fun to use one of those chemical hair removers on my back. Blinded by love (and the promise of a little action), I agreed. Big mistake. I knew it was a bad idea, but the other brain over-ruled me and thought it best to go along with her.

I stood in the shower and let her slather that stuff all over my back. HOLY CRAP!!!! That stuff lit me on fire. I don't know how to describe the burn other than it hurt like hell. I about killed myself getting the cold water turned on. I don't know what is in that stuff, but it is virtually unaffected by icy cold shower water.

After a while, the burning finally stopped. MOST of the back hair was gone. I think it was literally burned off, along with the top 2 layers of skin. There were a few patches of hair left, but at that point, they were just going to have to stay there.

And to think women regularly used that stuff on the bikini area. Well, I guess that's how women are able to endure the pain of childbirth. They have killed all the pain receptors in that area with this stuff.

Well, now you know why I'm still hairy and completely satisfied with it.

Any other guys allow their wives to remove their back hair?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing so hard! Jeff is not here but he would say, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" I have to say that was a little dumb on your part... it was your honeymoon...don't you think you would have gotten action hairy or not?!LOL You better save that one to add to your list of things to tell your boys on their wedding day!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reggie Hunnicutt said...

A reasonable assumption in your defense. Naked, in the shower with a woman. What harm from a chemical she wants to willingly smear on your body. I would have gone for that.

I actually have had my back waxed twice. Once last June and two weeks ago. The first time was a bit uncomfortable for a short time. The second time almost painless.

She (a woman does this) explained that the more you do it the thinner the hair get and the less trouble it is.

The chest hair just gets a trim. Otherwise I'll look like Aristotle Onassis with long wispy gray chest hairs blowing in the breeze.

Remind me to tell you the story about Gigi giving me a butt wipe thing in Los Vegas one time.