Physical training starts tomorrow...

I opened the e-mail and got the message I've been waiting for. It's an invitation to join in a charity bike ride benefiting the Make A Wish Foundation. It's just less than a month away, so intense training has to start soon. I plan to start training tomorrow morning.

Of course, this deal isn't quite as big as some big name events, like the MS 150 or the Kyle Petty Charity Ride, but everyone can't participate in every event.

No, friends, this event is different. It is tailored to a different crowd. It's a bike ride like no other (Along the same lines as Frank Costanza's Festivus for the Rest of Us. - something for everyone else).

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Tour de Donut. Imagine the idea behind this deal. You hop on the bike and ride down the road. Before long, you come to a checkpoint loaded with as many donuts as you can cram in. Each donut you consume knocks 5 minutes off your ride time. Think of it... If you play your cards right by riding fast and downing donuts like that Japanese kid eats hot dogs, you could actually finish the race before you started.

How will I train? Will I drag the bike out of the shed, air up the tires, put on my little biker shorts, and strap on my helmet? Not me? I'm driving my happy butt down to Shipley's and working over a few hot glazed.