Visit to the doctor...

About 2 weeks ago, I went to the Dr Old-School to see about getting rid of a cough and general upper-respiratory junk I came down with. I was given a shot and an antibiotic. Within a couple of days, I was feeling better, and got a little lackadaisical about finishing off the antibiotic. Instead of 4 over the course of 24 hours, I took 2 in the morning and if I remembered, a couple more at night.

Apparently doing it that way doesn't get the job done...

My cough came back with a vengeance last night. To keep it at bay, I took a double dose (maybe triple - I just took a big swig from the bottle instead of measuring out 1tsp) of cough syrup w/ Codeine. Man, that crap is potent when taken in that quantity. I crashed pretty hard and had to be reminded of my name this morning. Somehow I got up, showered, wrapped a Christmas gift, and helped Shelly get the kids dressed and in the car. Poor Matthew probably has his drawers on backwards and has mis-matched socks, but that's the breaks, right?

Anyway, about 10:30 this morning, I called the Dr's office to find out if he was still in business. Luck had it that he's still with us this week. I asked if they would call me in a refill of the antibiotic I took last time. Of course, they need to pay the bills, so I was told to stop in before lunch. I got there and after talking to the nurse, my call was apparently the first call they had received all day. No wonder they wanted me in. They needed my $30 co-pay plus the $95 Blue Cross will kick in just to keep the place running.

They ushered me into a room, and a sort of rough looking nurse checked my vitals and told me the doctor would be in shortly. The doctor checked me out, wrote me a prescription for a stronger antibiotic and more codeine cough syrup. He said the nurse would be back with a shot for me.

This is where things went downhill...

Nurse Helga has been there a while. She's a little stern and sort of a rough individual. She always smells like Camels (cigarettes, not the animal). She wears a fancy Dale Earnhardt Jr jacket. Nice enough, I guess, but sort of a no-nonsense type person.

Anyway, she came in the room with quite a large needle. She told me I needed to drop my drawers. Now, I was under the impression that most grown people should have the option to get the shot in the butt or in the arm. I protested, but she was having nothing to do with it. Then she proceeded to make me pay for questioning her authority in choosing the shot placement...

Nurse Helga: "Turn around and drop them"

me: "ok, but just let the record show I'd rather have it in the arm."

NH: "Lean over this table"

me: "um, this is a little unconventional"

NH: "Lean over further, elbows on the table"

me: "Alright, I'm starting to get a little concerned. I've never been asked to get in this position before" At this point, I start to wonder if Helga is really a Harold. I listen intently. Any sound of zippers, and I'm outta there.

NH: "Extend your right leg back and rest your right foot on the tip toes"

me: "What the hell does this have to do with getting a shot?"

NH: "You need to relax. This won't hurt as much if you will relax"

Ok, my mind is going nuts here thinking that this is by far the most unusual doctors visit I've ever had. Well, there was that one appointment many years ago where I had a Sigmoid Scope done, but you sort of go in expecting what you are going to get, but I didn't arrive at this appointment expecting the "full treatment".

me: "Relax? Who the hell can relax in a position like this? I hardly know you, and I'm sort of in a precarious position here."

Luckily by this time, the shot was over and she told me I could get dressed and head up to the front desk.

I just have to wonder. Why does nothing I ever do seem to be easy?