This isn't supposed to happen, not to people I know...

Today was a rough day for me. I'm just a bystander, not even involved. I can't imagine how Chris and Cindy are feeling right now. Chris and Cindy are friends of ours. They go to our church and are in our Sunday School Class. Chris has gone on the men's retreats with us each of the last 2 years (Weekends of the HAM).

Cindy has breast cancer. I didn't really understand that at first until I heard the story. I THOUGHT she had liver cancer until Chris told the whole story. Cindy had breast cancer a few years ago and through treatment and surgery came through. About 2 years ago, they found a tumor on her liver, some on her shoulder, and a couple of spots on her spine. They have been aggressive with treatments, and things were looking better, until earlier this year. Some drugs didn't work as well, new drugs were tried, hair was lost, and things were difficult. I knew some of this, but not much.

Perhaps I should have inquired how things were going more often. I sort of feel like a not so good friend. I didn't know how bad things were getting until Chris asked us for prayer late last week because things were getting worse. I got an e-mail this afternoon telling about their visit with the oncologist today. My friend's wife is dying. Dying. That is hard to get your arms around. They are our age. Mid 30's and so much life SHOULD be ahead of them. Apparently the doctors are giving up. Let that sink in. You are 36 years old with cancer, and you are not through living yet, but the doctors in the city with the largest medical center in the world tells you to consider hospice. Follow that up with a nurse that indicates you have weeks, not months.

I just told Shelly that I hope and pray (selfishly) that I'm not in that position. Please pray for healing for Cindy. Please pray for Chris. Here is a guy just a couple of years into marriage with a beautiful woman facing the prospect of being left alone, and quickly at that. Please pray for the guys that surround Chris, that we would be able to relate to him and provide support and friendship, even in the face of something that we in no way can relate to.

I'm sorry this post isn't the usual fun post, and is sort of rambling, but loss is something that I have a hard time relating to and knowing how to handle. It's tough to know a friend is suffering and not know exactly how to relate to them. Perhaps just showing up and not doing anything other than being there for them is good enough?