Fake Boobs and Drunk Old Ladies...

The alcohol flowed freely at the wedding reception. Very freely.

After a couple of hours, one of the attendees that had *ahem* enhancement surgery a little while back was drunker than Cooter Brown. Several of the people were, and it was actually pretty entertaining to watch them dance. Anyway, this young lady commented to Shelly, Staci (my sister), and I that her boobs seemed to be getting bigger. She clarified that by saying that it was the real portion, not the "fake" portion that was getting bigger. She then offered a feel to Staci. We had to laugh when Staci answered something to the effect of "you might be that drunk, but I'm not"

Ok, about the drunk lady falling off the toilet...

We lost my grandmother back in February of 2000. Since then, my grandfather has gotten a new girlfriend just about every year. He never gets rid of the old ones, just adds new members to his little 'harem". He has 3 or 4 spread around different parts of Texas, and another one out near Atlanta. Apparently 80 yr old men are in quite high demand these days, especially if they have the means to take a lady out every now and then.

Well, his date for the wedding is a nice lady, but she does love her wine. She had put away several glasses and was obviously a little sauced. My mother went with her when she went to the restroom to make sure she was ok. They came back a while later, and Mom had this look on her face that said "you wouldn't believe what just happened if I told you". Apparently girlfriend had lost her balance sitting on the toilet and fell off. Just fell forward onto the floor in front of the toilet... I've never laughed so hard in all my life. I was the one elected to tell Grandaddy that girlfriend was cut off from the bar the rest of the evening.

Ok, Grandaddy, the idea is to get them just drunk enough to lose their inhibitions, not sloppy drunk and falling off the toilet. Next time try only 3 glasses instead of 4...