Bad parents, rotten kids... (a rant)

ok, first I'll have to say that we're not perfect parents, and Matthew is not a perfect child, but there are a few things that really bug me, and thankfully we've managed to avoid these issues (for the most part)

Unruly kids in restaurants.

We tend to eat out a couple of times per week. Matthew is quite capable of handling the restaurant scene without making a scene, and I don't consider that to be an accident. First off, Matthew sits in a high chair or a booster chair EVERY TIME he eats a meal. I'm not talking the booster chair that gives him a little lift, I'm talking the portable high chair deals that strap to a regular dining chair and have a belt made into them to keep him confined. He is belted / strapped in each time WITHOUT FAIL. Keeping him in one place accomplished several objectives. 1. It makes our evening more enjoyable since we don't have to fight to keep him at the table. 2. He tends to eat better when his mobility options are limited, and 3. Others around us are able to enjoy their meals without a kid running wild. We have purchased 3 of the portable booster / high chairs. One stays at a Shelly's parent's house, one at the ranch, and one in the truck so we always have it available. It's something he is used to now. He actually buckles the belt himself (even though he can't yet get it unbuckled himself)

I know many people that either don't put their kids in high chairs, or don't strap them in because they complain. It's all about conditioning. Matthew used to complain on occasion about going into the high chair. We found that if you ignore the protests and proceed without responding to them, the protest will last about 10 seconds, usually less. Now it's something he expects. Early on, Matthew had 2 options at a restaurant - buckled in his high chair (behaving properly), or buckled in his car seat in the truck - with no toys or dvd to watch. He was not allowed to sit in our laps (because they are NEVER satisfied with that for more than about 30 seconds before they want down to wander). He was also not going to pitch a fit and disturb others around us.

Only once in 3 years have we ever had to ask for our food to go. In that instance, Shelly took him to the truck and I waited in the restaurant for the server to box it up for us (it was at Johnny Carino's). One other time, I was about finished with my dinner and I took him out to the truck while Shelly finished her food and paid. Both times there were meaningful repercussions and we have not had a repeat episode. To be fair, there are some times that it's unfair to take him into a setting like that. If he's tired, not feeling well, has missed a nap, or whatever the reason, you don't take a cranky kid out to a place that they have to sit still for 45 minutes or so. They can behave, but they are still kids. Restaurants have take out for a reason (or cook at home).

I'm a parent, but I'll be damned if my kid is going to cause someone else not to enjoy their evening. I resent it when someone else doesn't control their kids and it makes me enjoy my evening less. Either control your kids, or get take-out and feed them at home.

Car seats.

What is it with all of the people riding around with their kids and no car seats? We spent good money buying car seats for Matthew. When he is in the car, he is buckled in. It's not an option. I think we may be a little anal about it, but it's important to us to make sure he is safe. We make sure that the seats are in TIGHT, properly buckled and tethered in the vehicle, and the straps holding him in are snug and properly adjusted. He's our only kid, and we have quite a bit of time, money, effort, and dreams invested in him. It would be a shame to squander that by not taking steps to properly protect him. You would think all parents would think the same way, but obviously not.

About 6 months ago, Matthew figured out how to unbuckle the car seat that was in my truck. He did it exactly twice. Once was in a parking lot. Consequences were explained to him if it happened again. That same day, he unbuckled himself while I was driving 70mph down the local toll road. I hit the next exit and consequences were administered swiftly (an immediate consequence as well as another once we got home to allow him to think about it). It has not happened again. Now, on occasion, he will ask permission to unbuckle after I turn off the engine, and he will wait until permission is granted.

This, like the restaurant deal above is about consistency. If it is ALWAYS done like that, it is expected. They no of no other options, so they don't expect another option.